I love Chuck Norris jokes. One of my favorites is “Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.” There are a ton of them out there. There are even entire web sites dedicated to Chuck Norris jokes such as http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/. Most of those jokes are hysterical though some are slightly less than politically correct.
So Bill Wagner accidentally started jokes about me. Bill was actually responding to me when I posted that it was -8 outside. The full context is that “-8 keeps out the riff raff” but as you can read below, it looks like he was saying that I’m the one that keeps out the riff raff.
Leon Gershing (aka fallenrogue) took that and ran with it ala Chuck Norris jokes. Since then a ton of people have started piling on. (btw – Leon actually named this post to)
fallenrogue: @billwagner I hear @joshholmes‘ tears cure cancer…. too bad he’s never cried. 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
fallenrogue: I also hear that @joshholmes has to register any code he writes as lethal weapons. 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
usher: Good laugh of the day – RT @fallenrogue: I also hear that @joshholmes has to register any code he writes as lethal weapons. 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
joefiorini: @fallenrogue I’ve heard that @joshholmes‘ failing tests pass anyway because they are too scared to fail. 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
coreyhaines: @joefiorini I heard that @joshholmes‘ testing framework writes tests for @joshholmes 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
fallenrogue: @joefiorini @joshholmes can’t do TDD because it’s impossible to follow “Red > Green > Refactor” when his code only goes green. 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
joefiorini: @fallenrogue exactly; @joshholmes doesn’t need TDD. His code works the first time. 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
coreyhaines: @joefiorini @fallenrogue @joshholmes code refactors itself 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
ViNull: According to NSA regulations, only @joshholmes is allowed to carry @joshholmes code across state lines 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
ViNull: @brianhprince I heard Chuck Norris tried to out code @joshholmes once and broke all his fingers 1 day ago · Reply · View Tweet
joefiorini: Lesson learned: no amount of careful can replace testing. about 13 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
fallenrogue: @joefiorini except for @joshholmes who, btw, wrote a program that’s already counted to infinity… twice. about 13 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
joefiorini: @fallenrogue of course that was after he wrote a program to find all possible Marseinne primes. @joshholmes about 12 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
fallenrogue: You know why you can’t mock HttpContext in .Net? because @joshholmes wrote it and @joshholmes WILL NOT BE MOCKED!!!! about 12 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
ChrisRoland: @joshholmes Snores in binary and that’s how the internet was born. about 12 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
ViNull: I heard @joshholmes beard can optimize and compile 8088 assembly faster than Deep Thought about 5 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
brianhprince: @cwoodruff being as tall as you are, I figured you just picked up your car ‘hulk style’ and put it back on the roadabout 2 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
mikewo: @brianhprince Come on now, it’s not like @cwoodruff is @joshholmes or Chuck Norris. about 2 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
Keep those jokes rolling… I might just print these off as my next resume. Or I might start handing out pajamas. 🙂
*Update – a lot more jokes added below – enjoy! *
MartyAdams: @joshholmes can squeeze orange juice from a banana about 19 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
careypayette: A man once asked @joshholmes if his real name is “Jo”. @joshholmes did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded. about 19 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
careypayette: @joshholmes threads don’t sleep … they wait! about 19 hours ago · Reply< /a> · View Tweet
MartyAdams: @crazeegeekchick @careypayette go straight to the Mountain Dew. Enough caffeine to kill a horse! (but not @joshholmes) about 19 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
PainBank: ‘@joshholmes can code so well he can squeeze a Perl out a Python that looks like a Ruby, yet runs under .Net faster than C++’ C.Norris about 19 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
MartyAdams: thought of this this morning while driving in… @joshholmes doesn’t actually write code, he wills applications into existence. about 4 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet
mikewo: @aaronlerch @joshholmes doesn’t write workarounds. Whatever he codes becomes the best practice. about 3 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet