I’ve been a fan of Forged in Fire for a while now, and while my daughter Maura loves it for the excitement, creativity, and crazy weapons, I see something deeper. For me, the show is a masterclass in perseverance—how to push through challenges, adapt when things go sideways, and keep going even when everything seems to be falling apart. Funny enough, those lessons show up in my day job, too. As an Architect in the Industry Software Engineering (ISE) organization at Microsoft, where we act like consultants solving big problems, I run into my fair share of unexpected hurdles.

Rolling with the Punches

One of the things I love about Forged in Fire is how things rarely go according to plan. Blades crack, welds fail, and sometimes, the forge just isn’t cooperating. The smiths who make it through aren’t necessarily the best from the start—they’re the ones who adapt, troubleshoot, and keep moving forward.

That’s exactly what working in tech feels like. No matter how well you plan, projects hit roadblocks—whether it’s a surprise compatibility issue, a shift in customer needs, or a technical challenge that takes longer to crack than expected. Success, in both forging and software engineering, isn’t just about raw skill—it’s about thinking on your feet and problem-solving under pressure.

Failing Fast, Learning Faster

Some of the wildest moments on the show happen when a blade breaks or delaminates right before the buzzer. Watching a smith scramble to save their work—welding, reshaping, heat-treating in a panic—it’s stressful, but also inspiring. Some of them manage to pull off a miracle, and even when they don’t, you can see how much they’ve learned from the experience.

I’ve had plenty of moments like that in my career. Whether it’s an AI model that doesn’t perform, an architecture that needs a complete rethink, or a deployment that just refuses to work, setbacks happen. The key is what you do next. Do you give up, or do you take a breath, figure out what went wrong, and make the next attempt better? The best engineers, like the best smiths, don’t let failure stop them—they use it to refine their craft.

Pushing Limits—Physically and Mentally

A lot of contestants come in thinking they’ve got the technical skills to win, only to realize that the sheer grind of the competition is something else entirely. The heat, the time limits, the pressure of performing on camera—it pushes them to their limits, both physically and mentally. The ones who succeed aren’t just great blacksmiths; they’re the ones who can dig deep, stay focused, and push through.

That mindset applies to my work at Microsoft, too. As an Architect, I tackle some of the toughest challenges in enterprise software. It takes long hours of deep thinking, problem-solving, and mental endurance to crack big industry-wide problems. Just like in the forge, there are moments when I feel like I’ve hit a wall—but if I keep hammering away, eventually, I break through.

The Bottom Line: Keep Hammering

At its core, Forged in Fire is about perseverance. It’s about showing up, working through challenges, learning from failures, and constantly refining your craft. Whether it’s in blacksmithing, fitness, or software engineering, the secret to success is simple: just keep hammering. That’s how you turn raw materials—whether it’s steel, code, or personal grit—into something strong and lasting.

So while Maura enjoys the action and artistry, I’m taking notes. Forged in Fire isn’t just about making weapons—it’s about forging resilience. And that’s a lesson I carry with me every day, whether I’m in the forge, training for a Spartan race, or tackling my next challenge at Microsoft.

Some days are harder than others. Lately, I’ve been struggling with imposter syndrome, feeling like I haven’t truly earned my place at work. It’s a nagging thought that seeps in, making me question my value. On top of that, budgeting—something that already feels like a Herculean task for anyone with ADHD—has been weighing heavily on me as I work to keep my home. The combination of these stressors has made for a tough stretch.

But then, in the midst of it all, a good friend sent me a music video this morning: [Be Who You Are – YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppOkf-S_ieA&t=2s].

I didn’t expect much when I clicked play. But as the song unfolded, something inside me shifted. The lyrics, the melody, the sheer emotion behind it—it all spoke to me in a way I didn’t realize I needed.

The Power of a Thoughtful Gesture

Music has a way of saying what we struggle to articulate. It reminds us that we’re not alone, that others have walked this road before us, and that there’s light at the end of the tunnel—even when we can’t see it yet. My friend knew exactly what I needed before I did, and that act of kindness, of being seen and understood, meant the world to me.

In a time when I’ve been doubting myself, the song was a reminder that my worth isn’t measured in spreadsheets or productivity reports. It’s not defined by a single tough month. My value isn’t just in what I produce—it’s in who I am, in the relationships I build, in the way I show up, even on the hardest days.

Navigating Tough Times with Music and Friendship

There’s a lesson here, one I’m still working through: Hard times don’t define us. Our struggles with work, finances, or mental health are just chapters in a much longer story. And sometimes, when words fail, music steps in to bridge the gap.

Today, this song reminded me that I’m not alone. That I’m seen. That I matter. And if you’re reading this, feeling something similar, let this be your reminder too. You’re more than your struggles. You’re more than what you accomplish. You’re enough, just as you are.

And sometimes, the right song at the right moment can be exactly what we need to hear.

What are songs that have inspired you through tough times?

There’s nothing quite like a well-balanced Saturday—one that kicks off with a solid workout, slows down with some quality family time, and wraps up with a beautiful round of golf. For me, Saturdays are about movement, craftsmanship, and soaking in the best moments with my family.

Early Morning: Training and Pushing Limits

I like to get up early and start my Saturday with a great workout. There’s something about pushing myself first thing in the morning that sets the tone for the rest of the day. My Spartan Super training guide keeps me on track, making sure I get in a mix of strength, endurance, and grip work—because let’s be honest, obstacles like the rope climb and monkey bars aren’t going to get easier on their own. I also incorporate Peloton rides into my training, using them to build endurance and strengthen my legs without putting too much strain on my knees. Training hard gives me the energy and focus I need for the rest of the day’s activities.

Mid-Morning: Forged in Fire and Family Time

After training, I settle in for one of my favorite Saturday traditions—watching Forged in Fire with my daughter Maura. She’s 21 and has DDX3X, and this time together is something I truly cherish. DDX3X is a rare genetic condition that primarily affects girls and can cause developmental delays, intellectual disabilities, and other challenges.

Despite this, Maura has a bright spirit and a love for spending time together, especially when we’re watching bladesmiths craft their creations. There’s something relaxing about watching skilled artisans work and just enjoying the show with her. It’s a great way to slow things down after an intense morning workout.

Afternoon: Beating on Iron with Collin

Lately, my oldest son, Collin, and I have been getting into forging. We’ve got a medium-sized two-burner forge and all the starting tools, and there’s nothing quite like heating up a piece of metal and hammering it into something new. The physicality of forging, the precision it requires, and the satisfaction of shaping metal with your own hands—it’s an art form and a great way to bond. Whether we’re working on a simple knife or just experimenting with new techniques, it’s time well spent.

Evening: Golfing in the PNW Sun

If the Pacific Northwest blesses us with a sunny day, you can bet I’m ending it on the golf course. Walking the course, taking in the scenery, and challenging myself to play better each round—it’s the perfect way to wrap up the day. Golf is a sport that requires patience, strategy, and a little bit of luck, but mostly, it’s about enjoying the moment. After a full day of training, forging, and family time, stepping onto the course brings everything full circle.

Finding the Perfect Balance

For me, a great Saturday isn’t about doing just one thing—it’s about finding that balance between movement, creativity, and connection. Whether it’s pushing my limits in training, bonding over bladesmithing, or soaking in the beauty of a well-struck golf shot, each part of my Saturday adds something valuable.

What does your perfect Saturday look like?

At PHP Tek 2014, I saw a set of talks organized by a guy named Ed Finkler. This included a talk by Greg Baugues and Paddy Foran. They really opened up and talked about their own mental health issues including anxiety, depression and more. There was not a dry eye in the house. I’m not going to tell their story. That’s their to share. What I am going to share is how it affected me and my story.

Reason I’m blogging about this now is that I recently had a chance to interview Ed and post that to Code to Live.

I’ve always joked about having ADHD but it was always just a joke. My wife, Phoebe, was talking to someone (I don’t remember who) and they recommended that I read a book called Delivered from Distraction.  The first thing that I did when the book came in was the self diagnosis and wow did I score highly on that. The one set of questions that I missed on were the ones about relationships. I got lucky and married a very supportive wife. One of the big things that I learned was that one of the dark sides of ADHD is that people with it suffer from low self-esteem and depression. While I’ve suffered from this myself, I had never attributed it to ADHD and while I joked about it, I hadn’t thought that I actually had it or had any idea how to deal with it until I read the book. And very importantly, I was making the biggest mistake that most people make here – I was trying to deal with it on my own rather than seeking help.

Shortly after this I went to a therapist who specializes in ADHD. He worked with a phycologist and between the two, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD in 2008. I was prescribed with Adderall. The good news is that I knew what that was because I had read about it and the upsides and the side affects. There are two basic types of ADHD meds, anti-depressants and stimulants. They work very differently and sometimes one works better for one person than the other. If you suffer from ADHD, you should work with your mental health professional(s) to figure out what’s going to work for you.

This happened in 2008 but the reality is that I didn’t talk to people other than good friends until 2014 because I was ashamed about it. Ed, Greg and Paddy showed me that we need to talk about mental illness and take away the stigmas. That’s the only way that we can actually create a supportive and healthy environment. The worst thing that we can do is try to suffer in silence and not seek help.

If you want to learn more, if you’re suffering or are not sure if you’re suffering a mental health issue, there are resources up on Ed’s site at http://osmihelp.org.